There is excitement in the air as the students file into the "boutique" and count their paper tickets. They've worked hard all month long to earn tickets for good behavior. Some little trouble makers don't have any, while other students have worked hard to earn 30+ tickets. The big day has finally arrived. They are allowed to use their tickets as "money" to "purchase" prizes in the special school store.
Their eyes open wide as they stare at all the wonderful things in the store: pencils, erasers, toothbrushes, books, toy cars, markers, balls, jump ropes, flip flops, clothing, hair clips, and rice. The prices range from 1 ticket for a small notebook all the way up to 200 tickets for a huge box of rice.
One by one, they are called to come up and decide if they would like to save their tickets until next month's store or spend them now. Santia, a first grader, has 31 tickets. She had the most out of all the students in her class. She worked hard every single day this month to earn those tickets, and she radiated with pride each time she was awarded one. The teachers explain to her that with 31 tickets she is able to purchase any of the small prizes, flip-flops for 20 tickets or clothing for 25 tickets. She slowly and carefully examines all of the beautiful things. She walks over to the table and looks at the two small packages of rice: 30 tickets. She turns around and looks at a tiny pair of flip flops much too small for her own feet. She studies them for a while and then moves on to the clothing. Again, she chooses to look at clothing much too small for her own body. She must have a younger sibling. After several minutes, she leaves the flip flops and clothing and walks back to the rice. Without saying a word, she picks up the rice and hands her tickets to a teacher. Her entire month's worth of tickets is on rice. Rice. Today she is able to take pride in helping to provide food for her family. This weekend they will eat. But she's only a child. My heart breaks because I know that today was neither the first nor the last time that she will sacrifice normal childhood things in order to eat.
Biolan has saved his tickets all month long. Everyday he has sat up straight in class. He has listened to his teachers, and he has followed school rules. He has been counting down for this moment all week. He has over 20 tickets to spend in the store. This is the same small boy that collects pieces of trash and bottle caps. Certainly he will want to buy himself something nice. I see him sitting off to the side. As I squat down, I ask him, "What did you buy with your tickets today, Biolan?" His eyes light up and a smile spreads across his face. I see in his hands a pencil, a wooden toy car, and a jump rope. He grabs the jump rope and proudly displays it for me to see. "I bought this for my sister!!" he says with pride and excitement in his voice. I hold back tears. I feel completely wrecked inside. The boy with nothing just spent the majority of his tickets on a jump rope to give to his sister.
I saw Jesus in those children today. In fact, I see Jesus everyday in Jubilee. There is an obvious clash of kingdoms going on all around me everyday, but Jesus is most evident.
Watching the precious children of Jubilee brings Matthew 18 to mind. He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Seeing these children selflessly give to others even when they have nothing of their own is one of the reasons why Jesus told us to become like children. I'm realizing daily that my students are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. I am teaching them science and language. They are teaching me about the Kingdom of God.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
P-au-P Day Trip
Today I was able to take a day trip into Port-au-Prince to run some much needed errands, including cashing a check from my US bank account (which I cannot do in Gonaives). It is a three hour drive to Port, so Julie offered to substitute in my class so that I could go. After a month and a half in Gonaives, it was exciting to be able to buy groceries in a REAL grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I love shopping in the outdoor market, but....let's be real, grocery stores are pretty great. My purchases? Jelly, brownie mix, black beans, canned chicken, and some chocolate for Julie. Quite the variety, right?
Mama Kathy had to do some business in Delmas 75 (my old neighborhood). So, I decided that I would surprise Nickson and the students at TLC. Kattiana, my translator/assistant from last year, answered the gate. She was very surprised to see me, but Nickson and the students' reactions were the best. I felt very loved today. My kindergarteners (now 1st graders) were so excited that they hardly knew what to do with themselves! It was my first time seeing them since June. Needless to say, I got lots of hugs and kisses. It was so fun to see how much they have grown, see their missing teeth, see their new teeth, and see how much they have learned already. My kiddos were VERY anxious to show me how well they can read. I was impressed! At the end of last year, they could tell me all the letter sounds. Now, they are already reading 4 letter words! Jeanel was the lowest student at the beginning of kindergarten. Now, he is the best reader in his class!
I was sad that I was only able to stay for about an hour, but my heart is happy knowing how well the kids are all doing. The school looked great. The students looked happy, and Nickson is doing a wonderful job keeping it running smoothly.
I'm looking forward to a longer visit!
Mama Kathy had to do some business in Delmas 75 (my old neighborhood). So, I decided that I would surprise Nickson and the students at TLC. Kattiana, my translator/assistant from last year, answered the gate. She was very surprised to see me, but Nickson and the students' reactions were the best. I felt very loved today. My kindergarteners (now 1st graders) were so excited that they hardly knew what to do with themselves! It was my first time seeing them since June. Needless to say, I got lots of hugs and kisses. It was so fun to see how much they have grown, see their missing teeth, see their new teeth, and see how much they have learned already. My kiddos were VERY anxious to show me how well they can read. I was impressed! At the end of last year, they could tell me all the letter sounds. Now, they are already reading 4 letter words! Jeanel was the lowest student at the beginning of kindergarten. Now, he is the best reader in his class!
I was sad that I was only able to stay for about an hour, but my heart is happy knowing how well the kids are all doing. The school looked great. The students looked happy, and Nickson is doing a wonderful job keeping it running smoothly.
I'm looking forward to a longer visit!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Field Trip!
While I greatly appreciate the resource of school curriculum, not having one for science has provided me with a lot of freedom in my lesson planning. I have been planning and teaching an entire unit on the ocean. I chose that topic first for my 2nd grade class since the ocean is so easily accessible. It is, after all, visible from the school.
This week, I decided to take my class on a mini field trip to the ocean. I sent notes home warning parents to send the children to school in old clothes in case they got muddy. At 2:00 PM, my class and took the 20 minute walk from the school across the salt flats to the ocean.
Naturally, all the other children in Jubilee wanted to see what we were up to. So, my class of 11 ended up being more like 30 by the time we actually reached the water.
As soon as we arrived, children started stripping down to their skivvies as not to get their school uniforms dirty.
Earlier in the week, we learned about the seven characteristics of living things. So, the intent of the field trip was to collect whatever they could find in a bucket and compare whether is was living or non-living. The kids immediately began searching for crabs, seashells, and whatever else they could find.
They got quite a collection by the time we had to walk back to the school.
This week, I decided to take my class on a mini field trip to the ocean. I sent notes home warning parents to send the children to school in old clothes in case they got muddy. At 2:00 PM, my class and took the 20 minute walk from the school across the salt flats to the ocean.
Naturally, all the other children in Jubilee wanted to see what we were up to. So, my class of 11 ended up being more like 30 by the time we actually reached the water.
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Earlier in the week, we learned about the seven characteristics of living things. So, the intent of the field trip was to collect whatever they could find in a bucket and compare whether is was living or non-living. The kids immediately began searching for crabs, seashells, and whatever else they could find.
They got quite a collection by the time we had to walk back to the school.
Since it was the end of the day, I had to save their findings until the following day. I knew my class wouldn't smell very good with a bucket full of dead and live crabs, a dead jellyfish, sea water and shells. However, if I left the bucket outside of my room, I knew it would either be stolen or disturbed. It didn't go quite how I planned because my room ended up smelling worse than I imagined it would. But, in the end it all worked out and the kids had fun!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
They are more than that.
Daily my heart is broken in this new home of mine. I see things that hit me deep inside, and deep inside me they rest until I can lay them before God during my quiet times with Him.
While these things hurt, they draw me closer to Him. They force me to think about unpleasant and difficult things....real things....things that matter.
School is out and I am sitting in my classroom doing some prep work for the next day. I hear a tiny voice outside my door. "May I come in, mademoiselle Katie?" I open the door to find Biolan. He is one of my first grade students who I suspect has autism. He is eleven years old but probably could pass as a scrawny six year old in the United States. From what I know, he lives with extended family. There are at least twelve other children living in his house. I'm certain that he is put last when it comes to food, clothing, and affection. While I know that I would get more work done if I were alone, I allow him to come inside. He has changed out of his school uniform and is wearing nothing but an old t-shirt. He opens his hands to show me his treasures: a bottle cap and a few plastic beads. He sits down beside me and watches me as I cut up pieces of construction paper for a school project. When I make a pile of bits and pieces of scrap paper, his eyes light up. "Can I have these??" he asks. I tell him yes, and he immediately adds the tiny pieces of paper to his collection of treasures.
I'm in my classroom full of 1st graders. As I walk around the classroom checking their work, I award a sticker for each correct paper. When the packet of stickers runs out, I walk to the trashcan and without even thinking I drop the empty sticker sheet into the trash. I turn around and walk to the front of the classroom. When I turn back to face the class, I see one of the boys bending down over the trashcan. He stands up proudly smiling. In his hand is the cover of the sticker pack. It is a piece of paper with a few pictures of farm animals printed on it. He looks as if he just found twenty dollars.
It is 3:00 and the students are filing out of their classrooms. I am tidying up in my class when I hear some rowdy kids outside of my door. I step outside to see what the fuss is about. Two 1st grade girls are fighting. They're fighting over trash. They had been digging through the one of the school's large trashcans and discovered some used styrofoam coffee cups. Lorisena looks at me proudly and says, "I can use these to make a game!"
I see things like this all the time in Jubilee. In the midst of my busy day teaching, I can't stop to think about it or focus on it. When I'm home, it hits me and it comes up from that deep place where it was resting. I look around. I have a bed, a computer, clothes, shoes, food, and more than I can count. And they fight over trash. My kids, my students fight over trash. As I think about it more, I am realizing that is not the heart of the matter. That is not what bothers me the most.
I know how poor the children in Jubilee are. I know where they live, and for the most part, I have an understanding of what their life is like. However, in my classroom I forget about all of that. I hold them to a higher standard. I don't look at them as "the poor kids of Jubilee". I know they are able to learn. I know they are smart and capable. I view them as God's children. I view them as more than their circumstances. So, when I see them digging through the trash it hurts because I know they are more than that. They are sons and daughters of the creator of the universe. They are heirs to the Kingdom of God. I want the people of Gonaives to recognize that my students are more than that. Most importantly, I want my students to recognize believe that they are more than that.
While these things hurt, they draw me closer to Him. They force me to think about unpleasant and difficult things....real things....things that matter.
School is out and I am sitting in my classroom doing some prep work for the next day. I hear a tiny voice outside my door. "May I come in, mademoiselle Katie?" I open the door to find Biolan. He is one of my first grade students who I suspect has autism. He is eleven years old but probably could pass as a scrawny six year old in the United States. From what I know, he lives with extended family. There are at least twelve other children living in his house. I'm certain that he is put last when it comes to food, clothing, and affection. While I know that I would get more work done if I were alone, I allow him to come inside. He has changed out of his school uniform and is wearing nothing but an old t-shirt. He opens his hands to show me his treasures: a bottle cap and a few plastic beads. He sits down beside me and watches me as I cut up pieces of construction paper for a school project. When I make a pile of bits and pieces of scrap paper, his eyes light up. "Can I have these??" he asks. I tell him yes, and he immediately adds the tiny pieces of paper to his collection of treasures.
I'm in my classroom full of 1st graders. As I walk around the classroom checking their work, I award a sticker for each correct paper. When the packet of stickers runs out, I walk to the trashcan and without even thinking I drop the empty sticker sheet into the trash. I turn around and walk to the front of the classroom. When I turn back to face the class, I see one of the boys bending down over the trashcan. He stands up proudly smiling. In his hand is the cover of the sticker pack. It is a piece of paper with a few pictures of farm animals printed on it. He looks as if he just found twenty dollars.
It is 3:00 and the students are filing out of their classrooms. I am tidying up in my class when I hear some rowdy kids outside of my door. I step outside to see what the fuss is about. Two 1st grade girls are fighting. They're fighting over trash. They had been digging through the one of the school's large trashcans and discovered some used styrofoam coffee cups. Lorisena looks at me proudly and says, "I can use these to make a game!"
I see things like this all the time in Jubilee. In the midst of my busy day teaching, I can't stop to think about it or focus on it. When I'm home, it hits me and it comes up from that deep place where it was resting. I look around. I have a bed, a computer, clothes, shoes, food, and more than I can count. And they fight over trash. My kids, my students fight over trash. As I think about it more, I am realizing that is not the heart of the matter. That is not what bothers me the most.
I know how poor the children in Jubilee are. I know where they live, and for the most part, I have an understanding of what their life is like. However, in my classroom I forget about all of that. I hold them to a higher standard. I don't look at them as "the poor kids of Jubilee". I know they are able to learn. I know they are smart and capable. I view them as God's children. I view them as more than their circumstances. So, when I see them digging through the trash it hurts because I know they are more than that. They are sons and daughters of the creator of the universe. They are heirs to the Kingdom of God. I want the people of Gonaives to recognize that my students are more than that. Most importantly, I want my students to recognize believe that they are more than that.
James 2:5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn't God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren't they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Show us how to love - to love like You loved
I have been in Gonaives for almost a month. I've begun building relationships and getting to know those around me. I realize that I have just barely touched the surface of these new relationships, but I've already seen how complex and complicated they are.
The children of Jubilee are distinctly different than the children that I taught last year in Port-au-Prince. I've found that the closer I grow to these children the quicker they are to get mad at me and to play hard to get.
One young girl in particular has been very difficult to spend time with. When she doesn't get her way, she gets mad. She says mean things. When I tell her that I will still love her and be her friend even if they she is mad at me, she turns her back. She stands outside my classroom watching me teach, but when I try to talk to her, she runs away or tells me she is mad at me.
One day, she came to me and gave me a lollipop that she bought. This young girl who probably doesn't eat more than once a day gave ME a lollipop. I couldn't believe it. A few days later, she asked me for money. This is where relationships get harder. Does she want a relationship with me or is she using the white girl? Probably a combination of both. And can you blame her? If you start giving money to one person, everyone will start asking you. It perpetuates the reliance on us. I never know what the right answer is. I'm never 100% confident in what I should do. I told her no I would not give her money. She instantly got mad at me and made a face at me. She told me I was selfish. She told me she was not my friend. She said, don't you remember I gave you a lollipop? I reminded her that I had shared my water, my coke, and my food with her nearly every day and that I bought her fresco in the market. But, I told her I was not going to give her money. For days, she would not talk to me.
I've tried to understand this. Does she get mad at me because she expects me, the white girl, to give her whatever she asks? Or, does she look for reasons to get mad at me? Does my love for her confuse and scare her? She told me once that her mother leaves for days on end and her sister beats her frequently. She's not a particularly pretty young girl, and people make sure that she knows it. More than once I've heard people making fun of her and calling her ugly. One day while we were walking together, a grown man redundantly asked her if she was Haitian. When she replied, yes. He said that she couldn't possibly be Haitian because she was too ugly. When I stepped in and defended her, and told the man that I thought she was beautiful and I didn't want to hear him talk to my friend that way, I saw her smile. I can't imagine being harassed that way. I can't imagine being in her shoes. I wonder, is she confused by me still showing her love even when she treats me badly? Is she shocked that I keep pursuing her despite how she treats me? Is she testing me? Does she want to know how much I care for her?
These are questions that I don't know the answer to. This is just one small example of the complexity of relationships here.
“There is no safe investment. To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it in tact you must give it to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airle
The children of Jubilee are distinctly different than the children that I taught last year in Port-au-Prince. I've found that the closer I grow to these children the quicker they are to get mad at me and to play hard to get.
One young girl in particular has been very difficult to spend time with. When she doesn't get her way, she gets mad. She says mean things. When I tell her that I will still love her and be her friend even if they she is mad at me, she turns her back. She stands outside my classroom watching me teach, but when I try to talk to her, she runs away or tells me she is mad at me.
One day, she came to me and gave me a lollipop that she bought. This young girl who probably doesn't eat more than once a day gave ME a lollipop. I couldn't believe it. A few days later, she asked me for money. This is where relationships get harder. Does she want a relationship with me or is she using the white girl? Probably a combination of both. And can you blame her? If you start giving money to one person, everyone will start asking you. It perpetuates the reliance on us. I never know what the right answer is. I'm never 100% confident in what I should do. I told her no I would not give her money. She instantly got mad at me and made a face at me. She told me I was selfish. She told me she was not my friend. She said, don't you remember I gave you a lollipop? I reminded her that I had shared my water, my coke, and my food with her nearly every day and that I bought her fresco in the market. But, I told her I was not going to give her money. For days, she would not talk to me.
I've tried to understand this. Does she get mad at me because she expects me, the white girl, to give her whatever she asks? Or, does she look for reasons to get mad at me? Does my love for her confuse and scare her? She told me once that her mother leaves for days on end and her sister beats her frequently. She's not a particularly pretty young girl, and people make sure that she knows it. More than once I've heard people making fun of her and calling her ugly. One day while we were walking together, a grown man redundantly asked her if she was Haitian. When she replied, yes. He said that she couldn't possibly be Haitian because she was too ugly. When I stepped in and defended her, and told the man that I thought she was beautiful and I didn't want to hear him talk to my friend that way, I saw her smile. I can't imagine being harassed that way. I can't imagine being in her shoes. I wonder, is she confused by me still showing her love even when she treats me badly? Is she shocked that I keep pursuing her despite how she treats me? Is she testing me? Does she want to know how much I care for her?
These are questions that I don't know the answer to. This is just one small example of the complexity of relationships here.
This quote is very fitting.
“There is no safe investment. To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it in tact you must give it to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airle
ss—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell... We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it." ~C.S. Lewis
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