Torn

What do you do when you feel like your heart is torn between two families and two countries?  It has been nearly three weeks since I returned to the United States.  I feel that at this point in time, I am where I should be.  However, that does not help the fact that I miss my Haitian children more than I can explain.

When I am in Haiti, I miss my friends and family in America.  When I am in America, I miss my children in Haiti.  I wonder what the kids are doing: are they doing well in school?  Are they behaving?  Are they getting the attention that I used to give them?  Are they getting to play games and do crafts?  Do they get to have water fights?  Is anyone reading them stories?  Are they being told each day that they are loved?  Do they still get goodnight kisses and hugs each night?  Are they being read their Bible stories?  Do they know that I am still thinking about them, praying for them, and loving them even though I am 1,500 miles away in another country?

What do you do when you feel as if you have sons and daughters, but they are not really yours?  What do you do when you know you are missing their birthdays, their loose teeth, their first steps, their daily accomplishments....their life?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord....But, what do you do when you are torn?