The sun is beating down as I leave the school at the end of the day. I walk alone. My sandaled feet are dust covered. I feel sweat run down my back. Heads turn to look in my direction. I'm constantly reminded that I'm different. It was the same in Port-au-Prince but in this new city, there are less foreigners. Here, Haitians are not especially fond of white people.
I smile as small children wave to me. I say good afternoon to some of the people that I pass. Several women hold out their hands and ask me for money. A few teenagers ask, "Blanc, wa tis yo name?" I feel all eyes on me and almost wish that I were invisible. For once, I would like to blend in and go unnoticed.
Suddenly, I hear my name. Not blanc, but my real name. I turn to see a familiar face. One of the young girls that I've spent time with since I moved here calls me over and asks me to come inside. I step over a small canal with dark black water and trash running through it and pull open a rusty door made of a piece of tin. As I step into the yard, her whole family is there. Mama is leaning over a plastic basin washing clothes while some young men play dominoes. She introduces me to her family and we exchange names and small talk for a few minutes. As I turn to leave, the mama asks me, "Aren't you scared walking around alone?" I tell her that I'm not afraid. This is, after all, my home. I leave smiling, happy to make new friends.
As I step back onto the street, I'm just a stranger once again. I hear men calling out to me, some saying vulgar things, some cat calling or whistling, and some professing their love. The way some of them look at me makes me feel a sick to my stomach. I ignore them and put one foot in front of the other. Some days it doesn't bother me, but today I feel my blood boil.
I reach the center of town.
The money changers call to me and vendors point out their goods. As I walk, a man and woman pass by. They smirk at me and one of them looks directly at me and tells me that I am Satan. I keep walking. I pretend that I didn't hear them or that I didn't understand. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but unfortunately it hurts. I keep walking and I hear my name being called. I feel relief as I see another face that I recognize, a man that I met the previous week. He sells jewelry in the square to support his young son. He shakes my hand and we talk for a few minutes. I see people nearby watching me with curiosity, probably surprised to see that I can speak Creole. He doesn't ask for anything. He doesn't try to sell anything to me. He simply wants to talk. I forget about the rude people on the street. We part ways and I decide to buy a fresco because its hot and my mouth is parched.
The money changers call to me and vendors point out their goods. As I walk, a man and woman pass by. They smirk at me and one of them looks directly at me and tells me that I am Satan. I keep walking. I pretend that I didn't hear them or that I didn't understand. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but unfortunately it hurts. I keep walking and I hear my name being called. I feel relief as I see another face that I recognize, a man that I met the previous week. He sells jewelry in the square to support his young son. He shakes my hand and we talk for a few minutes. I see people nearby watching me with curiosity, probably surprised to see that I can speak Creole. He doesn't ask for anything. He doesn't try to sell anything to me. He simply wants to talk. I forget about the rude people on the street. We part ways and I decide to buy a fresco because its hot and my mouth is parched.
I find my favorite fresco vendor and approach his little cart. He pulls back a burlap sack to reveal a giant block of ice. He shaves some ice with a metal razor, fills a small cup, and after swatting away some flies and bees, he pours a homemade coconut flavored syrup over the ice. I hand him five gourdes and walk towards the tap-taps.
I find a tap-tap that will take me on the correct route and I climb inside. I sit down on the hard bench. The people inside curiously glance in my direction. A couple sitting across from me start to talk about me. They make fun of me and laugh to each other about how I can't understand what they are saying. I don't say a word. Typically, you pay the driver when you get off the tap-tap, but this time he pulls over and wants to be paid before we leave. It costs five gourdes to ride a tap-tap. The driver tries to tell me that it costs me twenty gourdes. I don't say anything, but I reach out my hand and give him five gourdes. Today, I don't have the energy for smart responses or comebacks. I'm hot and I'm tired. Most days, I'm used to being different. Most days, I can laugh it off and just joke along with them, but today I just want to be invisible. I want to blend in with everyone else.
I pray for patience. I pray I will be able to do what it says in 1st Corinthians 4:2 - We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. We appeal gently when evil things are said about us.
I pray for patience. I pray I will be able to do what it says in 1st Corinthians 4:2 - We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. We appeal gently when evil things are said about us.
No comments:
Post a Comment