Life is Fragile.

Life is fragile.  It is short.  There never seems to be enough time.  Why is it that we take life for granted until a life slips away?  I want to live more deliberately.  I don't want to waste the time that I'm given.  I want to make use of every moment, love deeply, savor precious moments, hold loved ones close, smile often, and laugh more.  I want to make sure that others know how much I love them.  I want to show other's that they are valued and treasured.  There is just never enough time.

The mama that I wrote about in my previous post, mama to my students.  She's gone.  As quickly as she came into my life, she is gone.  Two boys are now without a mama.  It hurts.  It isn't fair, and I don't know what to do about it.  She had started ARV meds.  She was supposed to get healthier and stronger.  She was supposed to move back to Jubilee and raise her boys.  I'm confused and broken hearted.

I had it on my heart to read something to her during our last visit  just two weeks before her death.  I wanted her to know how loved she was.  In creole, I read her these words:

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad Almighty God

My only hope in the midst of the sadness, is that she left this earth knowing that she was loved not only by her family and friends, but by her Heavenly Father.





Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications 
© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

"Their mom is sick," a little student tells me.  "They haven't seen her for 6 months.  My heart hurts for them.  I share my food with them sometimes because their father doesn't take care of them.  He sent them to live with their aunt because he has lots of women to his house."  I see pain in his dark brown eyes as he speaks about his friends' situation.

On the back of a motorcycle, we are in search of their mama.  Scared to find out how sick she is, but hopeful that we can help her recover.  I see fear in the boys' eyes.  They don't know what to expect either.  It has been six months, six months since they've seen their mama.

Holding the boys' hands, we climb a mountain to get to their mama.  On top of the mountain we reach a tiny one room mud house.  The boys' aunt greets us.  "It is only God and I on this mountain caring for my sister.  God is the only help we have," she tells me.

We step inside the darkened room to see their mama.  Barely enough strength to sit upright, she smiles when she sees her sons.  Her body is withered and tiny.  The boys begin to cry at the sight of her.  They cling to me for comfort.  Tears being to sting my eyes.  I want to take away their pain.  I want to make their mama well again.

With shaky hands, she gives us a paper from the hospital.  My worst nightmare is confirmed.  HIV/AIDS: Positive.  

I step outside of the house into the bright light.  The wind softly blows around me.  I look down at the city below me, and I cry for her.  I cry for the boys.  My heart is broken for this family.

When it is time to leave, their mama tells them not to cry.  As she pushes them towards me, she says, "Now, go to your mama."  My heart breaks all over again.  I sit down beside her, tears streaming down my face.  I kiss her on the cheek as I put my arm around her tiny body.  "You are their mama, not me," I tell her.  "They love you and they have not forgotten about you.  They miss you everyday.  You will always be their mama."  Crying isn't common in their culture, but I see tears welling up in her eyes.  "Thank you," she gently whispers as she gives my hand a squeeze.

We are all quiet on the motorcycle ride back to Jubilee.  I put on my sunglasses to cover up my teary eyes.  It hurts.  I hate the pain that the boys are experiencing.  It is not fair.  I am angry at the world.  I'm angry that THIS is real life.  I'm angry that I grew up so sheltered from the pain of the real world.  But in the pain and anger and suffering I hear Him whisper, "They are mine.  I am here.  I love them and I am with them through it all.  In this world there will be suffering, but fear not for I have overcome it all."

Graffiti

Things that make me smile:  Finding graffiti on my classroom door in the morning that says, "I love Miss Katie a lot.  She is my good friend."

Christmas Wish List

Up until about a week ago, I was planning on spending my Christmas here in Haiti.  But, then I thought about the fact that my best friend had a baby last month and my parents just moved to a new city.  I decided it will do my soul good to have a break from Jubilee and see my loved ones.

I will be in Pennsylvania from December 14th until December 30th.  I hope to see as many of you as possible during that time!  Before I return to Haiti, my goal is to fill my suitcases with things for my classroom and students.

This is my little classroom.  Just outside the picture to the left is the chalkboard.  It is small so I try to be very intentional in my planning so that I use my space wisely.  We only have electricity if we run a generator because the city power lines do not go out to Jubilee.  The light in my classroom comes from the window that you see in this picture.

In the states, my classroom would probably be comparable to the size of a school supply closet.  However, I am truly thankful for such a beautiful little room.  When I look around at the poverty in Jubilee and then see my wonderful little classroom, I feel SO blessed.

And, you really can't beat the view when you look outside my classroom door.

My students and I would be very blessed to have your help getting some new things for our class!  Below is a wish list of things that we would love for our little classroom.  If you would like to help us get any of these items, please email me first to make sure we don't get duplicate items and to arrange how to get the items to me before I return to Haiti.

Classroom Wish List

• 3 metal cookie sheets (can be inexpensive because it will be used with magnet letters)
• Leapfrog books to be used with the Tag device (click here to see what I mean)
• Sidewalk chalk
• 3 sets of headphones (preferably the old school kind that don't go inside your ears)
• An inexpensive mp3 player or discman (for books audio books)
• Dry erase board markers
• Clothes pins
• Magnetic letters (3 to 5 sets)
• Science picture books for elementary age children (plants, animals, health, body, etc.)
• Lollipops
• AA and AAA Batteries
• Cork board squares (that could be used to build my own bulletin board)
• If you prefer, money would also be appreciated so that I can purchase other small items that are needed

I find myself constantly bandaging infected cuts and scrapes and putting antifungal cream on ringworm for my students.  It is amazing the difference that Neosporin makes here.  I would like to make a classroom first aid kit and would like to have the following items:

• Antifungal cream (for ringworm)
• Bandaids (various sizes)
• Triple antibiotic ointment
• Alcohol wipes
• Digital Thermometer
• Children's pain reliever
• Children's cough medicine
• Burn cream (since food is cooked over fire here, my kids frequently come to me with small burns)

Tcheventchina and Lorisena (she has cream on her face because I've been trying to treat her ringworm)

Tcheventchina, Tchentchina, and Lorisena

Ecclestiaste and Dieuvenson