Wrecked

I've always struggled to put into words how this place, Haiti, makes me feel. The range of emotions seems impossible to describe, impossible to convey to people who are not living it and breathing it. 

In this moment, the word "wrecked" seems to say so much. The poverty and sickness that I see daily wrecks me and breaks my heart.  The pain, suffering, and injustice that is all around has left me weeping before The Lord. The physical conditions of this country frequently wreck my health. 

And at the same time...

The Father wrecks me daily with His love in ways that I never experienced before. The children wreck me with their hope, their smiles, and their innocence. I'm wrecked when I see a friend and mother of four who already struggles to feed her own children choose to take in three homeless children.  

Sometimes I wonder, "when will this get easier? When will I have a moment to breathe?" Then I remember that it's in our weakness He is made strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Blessed are the poor in spirit and blessed are those who mourn. (Mathew 5)

I think being wrecked is exactly how He wants me to be.