He must become greater. I must become less.

I had a hard time sorting through all the thoughts in my mind to try and make this into an understandable post.  I hope I was able to do that...if not, feel free to stop reading at anytime, haha.
 
Matthew 5:1-11

 ¹ One day as he saw the crowds gathering, Jesus went up on the mountainside and sat down. His disciples gathered around him, ² and he began to teach them.
³ “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. ⁴ God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
⁵ God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. ⁶ God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.
⁷ God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. ⁸ God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. ⁹ God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. ¹⁰ God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

 ¹¹ “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you^[c] and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. ¹² Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

If God blesses those who are poor, mourning, humble, hungry, thirsty, merciful, pure in heart, and persecuted, then I am confused.  I'm confused because I have been lied to by the world for most of my life.  I have grown up in a country where wealth, pride, and popularity determine the measure of a man.  Everyday, images from TV, media, news, and even our friends try tell us that we have to have perfect hair, teeth, clothes, homes, cars, and jobs.  It is so bad, that we don't even realize it.  We have learned to just accept that this is life: a constant struggle to be the biggest and best at everything and fill our lives with "stuff".  We buy things we don't need or want, we eat when we aren't hungry, we envy our friends' and neighbors' possessions, we spend money on frivolous things when all around the world people are living in poverty and dying of starvation. 

This lie is so powerful that it has even reached our churches.  Many churches have bought into this idea that we have to look a certain way or have lots of things in order to be successful in life.  In reality, what we refer to as church, is really just a building.  If Jesus were to come into our church building, I know that he would not care about what it looks like.  He would be looking into the eyes of His children, not the carpet on the floor or the stained glass windows.  Why does air conditioning, new carpet, new paint, and fancy sound systems come before broken, lost, starving, and poor people?  We the church have been lied to by the world.  The church is supposed to be the hands and feet of Christ reaching out to the broken, lost and hurting, not a place for cliques and people who "have it all together."  If someone with tattoos, piercings, dirty clothes, long hair, and bare feet came into our church, would we judge them, remain sitting quietly in our pew, or maybe even stare at them out of the corner of our eye?  Or would we be the body of Christ and run to them with open arms?  1 John 3:17 says, "If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?"  When the quality of our building is more evident than our love of God, I think there is a problem.  WE are the church.  WE are the body.  WE are what He cares about.  But, we have forgotten that He wants us to be weak, poor, humble, thirsty, hungry, merciful and pure in heart....not comfortable, in control, and concerned with what we possess.

At the lowest point in my life, I called out to God like never before, and I felt a closeness to Him like never before. It was a time that was both terrible and wonderful.  He comforted me and blessed me.  He gave me strength.  He answered my prayers and healed my broken heart.  But, over time, I slipped back into my old life of comfort and control.  Now, I am longing for that brokenness again simply so that I can feel that closeness to Him.  I want to be poor in spirit.  I want to long only for Him.  I want to be ruined for this world.  I want to constantly feel out of place here because I've had a glimpse of His glory.  Notice that I say I want to be all of those things.  I'm not there yet.  I pray that I will be.  Please understand that I say all of this while sitting amidst a room filled with "stuff".  Stuff that I cling to: clothes, iPod, cell phone, computer, shoes, make-up, CD player, the list goes on and on...stuff that doesn't matter and that I don't need.  If my life is so filled with stuff, how can there be enough room for Him?  This is my struggle.  I have one hand reaching out to God, and the other tightly holding onto all the "stuff" in my life.  I want to have the strength to leave all this "stuff" behind so that I can have both hands lifted up to Him.  Matthew 6:24  “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money (or stuff).

My prayer is that I can be poor in spirit.   Lord, help me to leave behind all of the "stuff" of this world and forget the lies that I have been fed and search only for your heart.  Help me to stop filling my life with needless and meaningless things.  Father make me weak, poor, humble, thirsty, hungry, merciful and pure in heart.  My plea for the church is that we can stop caring about the building, stop caring about how nice we look on Sunday morning, turn away from cliques, and begin to worship You with unabashed love.  Lord, restore the church and allow it to be your hands and feet stretching with open arms to the lost, hurting, sinful, and broken with love powerful enough to reach even the darkest corners of the earth.