Hating the World

For several days, I've been wanting to sit down and write about some beautiful stories of things that my students have done in school.  There are wonderful things that show me pictures of Jesus.  But, I didn't get around to writing about it.  And now, something else has happened that for the moment, has overshadowed that.

Unfortunately, the recent happening has broken my heart yet again.  I'm not actually ready to write about it.  Its fresh and my thoughts are not composed.  Right now, I'm a crumpled broken teary mess.  Not for myself.  I'm crying because I'm sharing the pain of others.  I'm crying because things that I see here should never be experienced by anyone, let alone precious children.

I'm crying because this world is so incredibly broken.  I'm crying because I'm angry, and at the moment I really hate this world.  I don't know if that is ok, but its the truth.  There is so much pain and suffering around me that sometimes I cannot take it.  Haiti rips my heart out and stomps on it on a regular basis.  Just when things seem to be going well, something else comes along that makes just brings me to my knees.  I am glad to share the burdens of those around me.  But, the truth is it is not easy.

Talking about wanting to share the burdens of others is one thing, but when you do it.  Man....it hurts.    In fact it is absolutely miserable.  In these situations, I usually have no idea what to do.  But, I can hurt with people and I can cry with them.  Often, I don't know what else to do.

I've never wanted God's Kingdom to come more than I do now.  This world is not fair.  Babies should not die.  Fathers should not abandon their children.  Children shouldn't be orphaned.  People should not have to suffer from AIDS, or TB, or other diseases.  These things are not of God.  It makes me angry.  That's where I am right now.  I'm broken and I'm angry at this world.