Sixteen years old and living on the streets. No family that she would speak of. That is where we found her. She was bleeding, feverish, and so weak she needed my support to walk. She was shy, but explained to us the horrific story of how she was gang raped.
I helped her into the truck and held her hand as we drove to the hospital. We were turned away and told to go to the police. The police sent us to the court house. The court house sent us back to the hospital again, but the doctor was already gone for the day. We drove to a second hospital. They wouldn't help her unless we paid someone off.
We took her to Jubilee and helped her shower. We gave her tylenol and clean clothes. She wouldn't eat. We could barely get her to drink. She spent the night with a family in Jubilee and the next day we returned to the hospital. The doctor was arrogant and rude. He called her a liar in front of everyone in the room. There was no privacy. Women in labor were all around us. Blood was on the floor of the exam room. He wasn't compassionate or gentle. I held her hand and begged her to cooperate with him for her exam.
They did a pregnancy test and and HIV test. It confirmed my fears. She was HIV positive. Thankfully, not pregnant. The doctor pulled me aside and told me the news. Me, not her. I just met the girl the day before, and I was suddenly in that place being given news that would change her life forever. I had to go outside for air and to let the tears come to my eyes. Then, because I had no choice, I pulled myself together and went back inside with her.
We were sent to an HIV clinic where she was verbally abused in the waiting room. Vile disgusting words were said to her until I finally had to have security remove the person from the waiting area. We met with a counselor for the clinic, but he couldn't put her in the program because she didn't have a permanent address.
We left, feeling defeated. She was weak. We found a place for her to stay for the night. But, we didn't know where she could live. I called the orphanages that I knew of, but no one could take a 16 year old with AIDS. The next day, my Haitian friend took her to a Sisters of Charity hospice care facility outside of the city. By the Grace of God, they admitted her despite the fact that they were already over crowded.
We visited her regularly and saw her starting to gain strength and weight. She was going to her HIV appointments at the hospital regularly. Things were looking up. We even found a place in Port-au-Prince where she could live after she left hospice. She said she wanted to change her life. Get off the streets. Things were looking up.
Until one day we went to visit her and she wasn't there. The nuns said she ran away, the other patients said she was kicked out. They had our phone numbers but hand't bothered to call us. She had been gone for five days already. We searched Jubilee, we asked around. We couldn't find her.
Two weeks later, she appeared at school and came running to me a smile on her face. I barely recognized her because she appeared to have gained almost 20 pounds. She looked healthy. We sat in the school library to talk. She explained that after she was sent away from the hospice care, she came looking for me at the school. However, it was a Saturday so I wasn't there. She had no where to go. No one to stay with. So, she traveled to St. Mark a city about an hour away from Gonaives. There, she stayed with her friend, a prostitute for two weeks. She said she missed us and remembered how we helped her. She said she realized she didn't want that life like her friend so she came back to try and find us again.
One of our Haitian teachers, offered to let her stay with his family for a few weeks until the home in Port was ready for her. Again, I thought things were looking up. But, each day she lived there she caused problem after problem. Fighting, flirting with neighbor boys, trying to sneak out at night, being disrespectful. It began to cause major problems for my friend and his family. My friend was very patient trying to do his best to help her, but it was too much. His family wanted her gone. The last straw was when she threatened to poison his friend. He had to ask her to leave.
After he sent her away, she stayed with a family in Jubilee. She came to me crying the first day after she was kicked out of his house. She had nothing to say. She just looked at me. I think she knew what she had done. I tried to explain to her how hard I worked to care for her and find places for her to live. I reminded her of the times she promised me that she would do her best not to cause problems. I knew that deep, deep down she wanted to change her life but she wasn't ready to actually do what that requires. We both knew that until she was ready to do that, there was nothing I could do for her. She had to cooperate. No one else could force her to change her lifestyle. But, she's only sixteen. A baby having to grow up too fast.
It killed me. Kills me still. I want so badly to make her see her worth, her value. I ache for her to know just how loved she is by me and by her Father. Knowing that she has a disease that will eventually kill her if it goes untreated, is a weigh on my heart that I cannot explain.
Over the weekend, she disappeared again. I have no idea where she is, and I try not to think about what she must be doing to survive. All I can do is pray.
I think of her every time that I hear one of my favorite songs because I wish so badly she could know this Love:
Try to stop your love and you would wage a war
Try to stop the very thing you gave your life for
You would come running you'd tear down every wall
All the while you're shouting my love you're worth it all
God you pursue me with power and glory
Unstoppable love that never ends
You're unrelenting with passion and mercy
Unstoppable love that never ends
No sin, no shame, no past, no pain
Can separate me from your love
No height, no depth, no fear, no death
Can separate me from your love
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