Street Boys

Sometimes Most of the time, this country exhausts me physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Don't get me wrong, I love it despite all that.  But, it is difficult.  Lately, it has been especially difficult in regards to my "street boys".

I have a small herd of young boys that come knocking on my gate for me each day.  It all started when I moved into the apartment in August, and I met Peterson on the street.  He and one other boy would come each evening and knock on the gate.  I would sit outside with them and we would talk and just spend time together.  However, since then my group of boys has rapidly grown.  It seems like each day, some new little boy that I don't know sees me on the street and starts calling my name.  Some evenings I have almost a dozen kids relentlessly knocking on the gate.  Sadly, now that the group has grown so much, it seems like they enjoy begging for shoes, clothes, food, kites, and soccer balls more than they enjoy my company.  That is where it gets difficult and complicated.

I have a hard time saying no or just simply turning them away, but I also do not just like giving hand outs.  So, here I sit perplexed as to what to do.  Many people here in Haiti would just tell them to go away or stop knocking, but I can't seem to do that no matter how much of a headache they cause me.  I think that God put them in front of me for a reason.  While I want to help them, I don't just want to be seen as the "white lady who gives them free stuff".  Not to mention, I can't really afford to just hand out free stuff.  I would much rather have a good relationship with them and get to know their stories and their families and show them that I love them and care about them.  But, it seems like once I get to know their families it gets even more complicated.  Just last week, I visited some of their families.  Since then, the boys have not only been at my gate asking me for the usual things, but now they are also saying, "My mom told me to ask you for clothes for her, my dad needs shoes, my sister needs a birth certificate, and the list goes on".  Sure, I could easily give shoes or clothes or a soccer ball to one or two of the boys.  That certainly would not break the bank.  But if I give to one, they all find out.  Then, I have lots of upset boys knocking on my gate wanting to know why I didn't give them something, too.

This is my life.  Some days it seems like all I do is listen to people's long, long, long lists of needs and wants.  They don't understand that everyone else I know needs the same things and have the same problems.  It is overwhelming to say the least, and some days it is just easier to lock myself in my apartment and avoid them all.  I literally cannot leave my gate without one of the boys somehow seeing me and chasing me down the street.  I don't think I have EVER had a conversation with one of the "street boys" in which they did not ask me for something.

While it is beyond frustrating, I understand.  I try to put myself in their shoes.  I've seen where the live and I've seen what they have don't have.  Many of them live in tents and the only toy (if any) they have is a worn out soccer ball.  Some of them go to school.  I have no idea how often they get to eat at home.  While they are not starving, they are clearly small for their age.

So, what am I supposed to do?  God, what do you want me to do?  They are Your children, Lord.  Reveal to me how I am supposed to reach out to these little rascals.