Questions that make your head spin

Recently I've realized I have a long list of questions and and struggles.  Life here can be so incredibly difficult.  The problems that I think about on a daily basis are NOTHING like what I would face if I were in the states right now.  In just a few short months, my life and everything that I once believed about life is completely different.

If I were in the states, I would most likely have some type of job.  My concerns would revolve around my social life, a career, saving money, going to church, etc.  But, instead I am here in Haiti facing things that I never would have imagined.  I'm trying to find answers to questions I never dreamed I would have to deal with.

How do I raise a house full of 25+ chronically ill children?  How do I raise them to be Godly men and women?  How do I give these children the best life possible in a crowded orphanage situation?  How do I give each child the attention that he/she deserves?   As an American, how to do I raise them to be Haitian children?  As an American, how do I prepare them to live in Haiti?  How do I blend American culture with Haitian culture?

How do we show our Haitian employees God's love and mercy and yet remain their "boss"?  How do I teach our nannies better ways to treat/teach/care for the children without offending them?  How do I show God's love to the Haitian men on the street that make sexual comments towards me as I pass by?  What do I do to help each beggar on the street?  Did God really mean "sell everything you have and give it to the poor"? 

How do I break myself of my "American" attitudes and selfishness?  There is ALWAYS something to do and a child to hold, when can I take quiet time to myself?  What is my vision for Haiti?  What is my role in the future of Haiti?  How do I expand my trust in God and give up everything?  Am I really fulfilling what God wants me to do each day or I am "being busy"?  Is every action that I do out of LOVE?

I'm so tired of the way things are in this country, but I guess the answers to these questions take time, prayer, and patience.  God, I need you every second.  Show me how to live this life that you have called me to.  Lord God give me visions for Haiti.  I want faces and hearts to turn to God.  I want a change that only You can bring.  I want everything that I do to be motivated by love.  God, teach me how to love like you.