If you remember my previous posts, Clavens can be quite a problem in my class. Nickson simply wanted to explain to the father that if Clavens cannot participate in class and be respectful, we will have to consider expelling him. Obviously, we do not want that to happen, and are doing as much as we can to work with Clavens.
Clavens and his father came to the school while Nickson happened to be away on an errand. So, I was left to talk to the father. While Clavens is only 6 years old, his father looks to be about 80, and the whites of his eyes were a scary yellowish brown color. He immediately began explaining to me that he realizes Clavens is much too young to be having so many behavior problems, and he is not going to put up with it. Then, he pulled a belt strap from his pocket and said he was going to beat Clavens in front of me so that I could witness him disciplining his son.
This is not a joke...yes, that really happened.
I immediately said "no, no, no!!" I went in to explain that he does not need to beat him because of his problems in school. He needs to model respectful behavior and take time to teach his son by experience and love. He explained, "oh yes, I know that! I never beat him at home!" .....and yet he conveniently had a belt strap in his pocket??? Lies.
I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. I gave up. There was no way that a five minute meeting would be enough to change a harsh old man's perspective on child rearing. Especially not when it was coming from a young white girl.
At the end of the conversation, the man said, "Clavens, you go apologize to your teacher!" As he shoved him towards me, Clavens looked at me, but did say a word (let me just say I did NOT see the next part coming). In that split second of hesitation, the weathered old man unexpectedly began whipping Clavens across his little back with the belt strap.
Clavens squealed in pain and tears rolled down his cheeks. Vanessa (the pre k teacher) was with me when this happened, and in a natural instinct we both reached for Clavens and quickly pulled him out of his fathers reach and protectively put him behind us.
At that point, I was in shock wondering is this really happening?! I don't even remember our last words to the man before he left. I was too busy crying inside for Clavens.
At the lunch table I was watching Clavens as we ate. He was smiling and laughing. Just 30 minutes prior, his father beat his with a belt in front of his teachers. Had I not witnesses it myself, I never would have believed it. I realized that for it to have virtually no effect in him, it must happen way too often.
I asked him, "Clavens? Was your father upset with you last night?" He replied, "yes." I went further, "did he hit you last night?" His response? "No, but my mom hit me on my back with her shoe."
So, now what? What am I going to do with this precious, difficult little boy. I have no parental support, and it appears they are largely the root of problem. Lord, help me.
I know that I am NOT going to tell his family when he is bad. I am NOT going to let this boy be a problem in my class. I am NOT going to let him fall through the cracks. I am NOT going to give up on him.
It is my goal to teach him respect in a healthy way and make him feel safe, comfortable, secure, and loved. After what I saw today, I am determined to help this little boy even if it kills me.
Things like what I saw today are the reason I am here in Haiti. This is why I work with children. This cycle of hatred has to end.
Lord, help me.
Proverbs 31:8-9
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.
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