Meet Clavens.
Clavens is one of my kindergarten students. He is very smart, adorable, playful, usually has a mischievous grin on his face, loves to be praised, and loves to help out in the classroom. He also happens to be one of my most difficult students.
This is his second year in Kindergarten. He is a very happy little boy. However, he can turn in an instant. I've been told that he comes from an abusive home. I often feel as if I am walking on egg shells when I am dealing with him. For example, one day he was doing really well, and he was in a great mood. I passed out crayon baskets to each of the four tables (each table shares one basket of crayons). I gave his table a white basket, but apparently he wanted a green basket. He became so upset by it, that he crumpled his paper in a ball, threw it on the floor, and began crying. From there, things just continued to go downhill the rest of the day. He refused to participate or get up from his chair. I tried ignoring the behavior, then I tried talking with him logically in private, I tried gently encouraging him to make a good choice, and eventually I lost my patience and took him to Mr. Nickson's office. Even after talking with Mr. Nickson in his office, he continue to be defiant for the rest of the day.
Episodes like that are an almost daily occurrence. On a good day, I can talk him down and make sure to "catch him" doing good things and reward him with lots of praise. That will often turn things around for him. But, on a bad day his defiant behavior will continue all day long. He often does things deliberately to cause a scene or to "push my buttons". As you can imagine, when you have ten other children in the class it becomes quite difficult.
I am determined to work with him and help him, but it is difficult for me to figure out what exactly triggers the behavior. It seems like almost anything can trigger him. I have seen much worse cases, and I know that I can handle him. However, it is exhausting (mentally and physically) and stressful. Praying for more patience and praying for Clavens have now become a daily occurrence for me.
Meet Jeanel.
Jeanel is also a Kindergarten student. He has an adorable toothless grin, and loves to laugh. However, he is easily distracted, likes to disturb others around him, does not like to participate, and he can be quite stubborn. He especially likes making faces at me behind my back, and occasionally getting into fights with other boys. I've tried moving him to his own private desk where he has less distractions and cannot bother those around him. But, when he is at that desk I've found that he "zones out" and does not pay attention. Lavishing him in praise for his good behavior only seems to last momentarily. Usually within a few minutes he is distracted again and not paying attention.
I would guess that in an average day, 60% of my energy is spent solely on Clavens and Jeanel. They have good days and bad. Between the two of them, I am completely exhausted by the end of each day. On top of that, I am trying to work with the other nine students in my class (all who have their own little issues and differences in personality). I know that it is still very early in the school year, but I am praying that something I am doing eventually "clicks" with them, and they learn to behave better during school...for the sake of my own sanity.
One thing that is different here in Haiti is the home life of my students. Yes, there are children in the states that come from "bad" homes, but they seem wonderful compared to my students' homes. I try to keep the parents in the loop as to how my students are doing, but I sometimes fear that their way of handling the situation will be to beat them. Please understand, I'm not saying all Haitian parents are abusive, but I believe that does happen here more often than in the states. Also, many of the parents are young or uneducated. So, they do not understand how to help the children with their behavior or attention problems the way that parents in the states do.
So, I ask that you all please keep little Clavens and Jeanel in your prayers. As for me my prayer is always more patience, more compassion, more understanding, and more creative ways of handling my students.
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